My War - 55 fiction

This post has been selected as 'Tangy tuesday pick' by Blogadda on 20 oct 09. click on the image to view the results page.

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“Amidst my regular dinner, I heard a big bang. My ears went deaf. I rushed home to warn my kids. They were shivering”.

“Three days now, we didn’t go out. We’re starving. Will this war prolong?

“Oh God, save our life and let us have peace soon”.
Prayed the elderly crow in nest. Its Diwali.

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This is 55 fiction story. If you don't know what it is, read it here.

Hey Guys, this is my first real attempt on 55 fiction. let me know your honest comments.

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Finally, I decided to penalize Vipul for consistently calling me a married man in FB comments section. Yes he need to write a 50 words poem in my blog as a guest blogger. (my blog doesn't have any poems as I don't know to write).

The topic is 'DEATH'.

@ Vipul: If you are taking this, you can email it to bharathionline@gmail.com

35 comments:

Vipul Grover said...
October 18, 2009 at 7:38 PM

Man o Man.. Gr8 Diwali special 55er.. Had a gud laugh..

Now cuming 2 my punishment.. Anything 4 a married man who hits upon celebrities on FB's Date of the Day Application :p

But why this 50 words limit?? shud it b xactly 50 words???
Anyway, i'll try 2 take it up asap :)

Guria said...
October 18, 2009 at 7:43 PM

My honest opinion: It's COOL!
(coming from one who sucks at the genre... i don't know why you'd care :P)
Happy Diwali! :)

@ Vipul: A challenge, man! Death in 50 words... :)

Vishnu said...
October 18, 2009 at 8:20 PM

great one.. it may be a festival for us but its war for the other animals..
i've seen pple who put crackers over dogs.. pathetic..n there are humans who hate crackers itself.. no matter wat u can change.. u definitely cant change this.. happy diwali.. so did u burst crackers..

Asit Dhal said...
October 18, 2009 at 8:24 PM

Great writing buddy....

This is like amusement for one creature and deadly for others !!!

now the birds must be finding end of war and countdown of 365 days for another war...

Singh Amit said...
October 18, 2009 at 8:29 PM

Very Nice One....
As Vishnu said ...It may be festival for us but the war for others....

Happy Diwali.. :)

Cheers!!

Bharathi said...
October 18, 2009 at 8:48 PM

@ Vipul:

I am glad that you enjoyed it.

"Now cuming 2 my punishment.. Anything 4 a married man who hits upon celebrities on FB's Date of the Day Application :p"

It seems the punishment isnt intense enough.

And I want it to reach many people and thats why I kept it small for 50 words. Short and sweat.

@ Guria: Thanks pal. I am happy that you liked.

And I too suck in that genre.

@ Vishnu: THanks pal. Nice to have you back here in comments after a short break. (busy?)

And yeah. I burst crackers without any interest because of the compulsion of my wife's sister's kids (what do you call them in English. ohh my vocabulary). But after that, while I was roaming in the terrace, I saw a bewildered crow. and there I got the plot.

@ Asit Dhal: I am glad that you liked. Thanks pal.

@ Amit: Nice to have a positive comment. Thanks pal.

Vishnu said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:06 PM

neenga dan busy.. i am sema vetti.. n i think i read n commented on all ur posts..

u r askin the wrong person abt relations.. i call every1 mama or mami..

Shruti said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:20 PM

Bharathi,
yay! First attempt? good one yaar!! :)
Diwali spl eh :)
nice concept

Bharathi said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:29 PM

@ Vishnu: No. you didnt comment in last couple of posts. check it out.

@ Shruti: Thanks pal. An accolade from queen of 55 fiction :-)

Shruti said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:32 PM

Bharathi!
Arey u too started calling me like that eh? :)
But this was really good.. I wanted to try something like this and didn't get a good concept!

Bharathi said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:47 PM

@ Shruti: y not as u write too many nice 55 fictions.

I wrote this after seeing a lone crow flew so scared of crackers.

Shruti said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:51 PM

Told na? I thought for 2 hours for a nice, humorous plot! But alas ended up with nothing!

Ur observation is awesome, that too the way u wrote it as 55F is fantastic!

Lakshmi Rajan said...
October 18, 2009 at 9:54 PM

wow ! Enjoyed thoroughly this diwali spl !!!

and ya :p vipul needs this punishment. How dare he remind a married man again again n again about his maritial status :P

Bharathi said...
October 18, 2009 at 10:00 PM

@ Shruti: You are always very lavish in praising others. Thanks.

@ Lakshmi Rajan: Thanks a lot pal for liking it.

And I am happy to have a company to counter Vipuls.

Vipul Grover said...
October 19, 2009 at 12:03 AM

Hey, actually i didn't read, rather interpret the story frm the serious angle.. Realised it aftr reading sum nice comments frm Vishnu nd others..
Well, i myslef hate crackers, the noise making ones i mean nd indeed its a torture for poor animals..
Anyway, even ur wife's sister's children are ur nephew/niece..
Oh, wife reminds me u r married right.. huhuhahaha

Vipul Grover said...
October 19, 2009 at 12:06 AM

And yeah, the most comments widget has gone berserk.. It is conspiring in my favour.. so i've left behind Shankar in comments count :)
Its code has corrupted or wat, i don't know.. Removed mine for the same reason!

Shankar said...
October 19, 2009 at 12:35 AM

Hey a very nice 55 bharathi... Its really good..I loved it.. and a nice punishment for vipul... Challenging one... Well..he deserves it... lol...

and I did notice ur comments widget after the last comment from vipul... alas... 24 comments??? I crossed 50 once you remember?? or you deleted all my comments??

Bharathi said...
October 19, 2009 at 9:23 AM

@ Vipul: No problem. But what made u not to think on serious line. the information might help me identify my mistake in expressing as I meant it to be serious.

And thanks for your information. Niece/ Nephew.

And if you keep on calling me married man again, then I will write my name instead of your name under your poem.

@ Shankar and Vipul: Yeah. I noticed the problem with my top commentators widget and popular posts widget. For some reasons it omits few of my posts. I tried reinstalling the widgets but it didnt help. Any suggestions to overcome tihs?

@ Shankar: I am glad you liked the 55 fiction. Thanks a lot. And the punishment isnt intense enough for Vipul it seems.

RSV said...
October 19, 2009 at 11:07 AM

hey, what about the melodious songs we hear for rest of the 362 days from them??

Vipul Grover said...
October 19, 2009 at 11:32 AM

Well, its not ur mistake bt mine in not interpreting it the right way.. I mean i liked the way u twisted it in the end. And i laughed bcoz of tht nd thn didn't go on 2 interpret the real message further :)

About the widgets, I couldn't figure out the solution myself, so removed it.

I've written the poem.. mailing u :)

nd yeah stop threatening me.. Um not afraid :p

pra said...
October 19, 2009 at 5:30 PM

nice story Bharati. welcome to 55 fiction squad!!

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...
October 19, 2009 at 9:02 PM

hey this is awesome man... u r a humanatarian... (people a evil like me hate...:D)

Bharathi said...
October 19, 2009 at 9:15 PM

@ Vipul: Thanks pal. Seen mail. Will post it soon.

@ Pra: Thanks for your positive comment.

@ Sid: One small correction. I am not a humanatarian but want to be humanatarian :-). And thanks a lot for your positive comment.

RSV said...
October 19, 2009 at 9:35 PM

Did I say something wrong sir?

Bharathi said...
October 19, 2009 at 10:11 PM

@ RSV: I am extreamly sorry. It was a honest mistake on my side to leave your comment unanswered.

And yeah only because of that melodious songs for 362 days I developed love towards them.

Chatterbox said...
October 20, 2009 at 6:55 PM

Very good for a first attempt.
I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Hope you had a fantastic Diwali.

Cheers!!

Shilpa said...
October 20, 2009 at 9:48 PM

congrats for being chosen by blogadda for tangy Tuesdays.

Bharathi said...
October 21, 2009 at 3:48 PM

@ Chatterbox: Thanks pal. am glad that you liked it.

@ Shilpa: Thanks a lot.

Rachana Shakyawar said...
October 22, 2009 at 1:41 AM

@ Bharathi

I came through BlogAdda. Congrats for being chosen by blogadda for tangy Tuesdays.

"War" is a beautiful 55fiction depicting a great thought. Though, you wrote a feeling of the crow but you know ironically I also had same feeling as the crow during Diwali :P

Indeed, noise and air pollution is no celebration to make. Any festival is for sharing happiness and not for contributing pollution to the nature.

It’s your first 55fiction and definitely a successful attempt. Looking forward keenly for more such thoughtful 55fictions from you. Congratulations!


|P.S.| Incidentally, I also made few days back my very first attempt in 55fiction writing, you may like to have a glance over it, and the link is:

http://rachanashakyawar.blogspot.com/2009/10/first-attempt-55-fiction.html

Shruti said...
October 22, 2009 at 3:50 PM

Hey buddy,
Visit my profile :)
Something is waiting for you!

Bharathi said...
October 23, 2009 at 3:23 PM

@ Rachana: Thanks for visiting, commenting and following. I am gald that you liked it.
I visited your blog and left a comment.

@ Shruti: I saw your post. Will comment on saturday or sunday.

mAhEsH KaLaAL said...
October 23, 2009 at 11:49 PM

a well sarcastic and satirical post....
good start....
explore more avenues :)

Bharathi said...
October 25, 2009 at 1:35 PM

@ Mahesh: thanks mahesh. Will do.

Bala said...
October 26, 2009 at 6:12 PM

Gr8... Chanceless... Beautiful message... Crow- really unexpected one...

Bharathi said...
October 27, 2009 at 11:07 AM

@ Bala: Thanks pal.

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