Lessons from a dead body

Some time back we got a message on the phone that one of my distant relatives died. I attended the funeral along with my parents. I usually like to observe a lot in a funeral as it is quite peculiar place and people behave differently.

That was a small village and when I entered the funeral house there were hardly any people as we were the first to receive the message and people just started coming. I could see the last death vehicle was under construction. I watched it with keen interest as I might have to travel in that one day. The making is simple. They placed two pieces of one vertically cut bamboo in either sides. They filled in the middle space by placing small sticks in the form ofl ‘x’ touching both the vertically placed bamboos. They tied it very hard with jute thread. Then to make it flat, they spread tightly knit coconut leaves on it. That’s it. The last vehicle was ready.

When the time this was over, I could see my dad chatting with a gang of five to six people. The son and the grandson of the lady died were busy receiving the mourners and making arrangements for clearing the body.

Now they brought out the body and I had a glimpse of the full body. She should be around her early eighties and her body shrunk so badly that anyone can lift it easily with their both hands as like they lift a child while sleeping. A one rupee coin was placed on her fore head and her two toes were tied together.

Around six people, after making lots of chaos, lifted the body and placed it on the final vehicle where a single person would have done that as the body was so small. Everyone were trying to prove that they were helping and made that place so clumsy. Someone wanted to place a pillow under the head and another arguing it isnt necessary.

Finally they lifted the body and the procession was very short as the grave yard was only 200 meters away. I went along and stood in a place where I can have a nice view to observe everything. They placed the body near the recently dug pit and started doing all the rituals. Again there arouse a small pandemonium as few people had other opinions on the way rituals were followed. Finally the person with high sounding voice won the game and every one followed as per his advice. I saw the first part of sand fell over the face. It was quite strange to see sand falling on face without victim reacting to it.

Now again I saw my dad along with the same people more or less occupying same places. But now the grandson also joined the discussion. I can hear them discussing on various topics ranging from search of a servant maid, discussion on the character of the current MLA and his prospect of getting chance to contest in forthcoming elections, marriage prospects of another participant of the forum etc.

After a while my mum came out of the home. She was with the ladies sitting inside home and we were waiting outside shamiyana. We decided to leave now and the grand son and son bid adieu with a smiling face.

In the same week I got another message from my mum that one of our close family friends expired in the hospital on accident. He was a middle aged man having two kids one boy and a girl. My father and my mother were totally shocked. They said he was such a nice gentle man and he helped our family in innumerable occasions.

We immediately rushed to his home. There were already big crowd and I heard the cry from quite a distance. I can see gangs of people with sad faces discussing about th mode of death in low voices. I joined one of our common family friends. They were feeling so sad and the guy started telling how good his character was. The lady mentioned that he was almost like their family member and he was the one who used to stand in front in all their family functions whether it is good or bad. She felt sad that there was no one to fill his place now. I too said that he was such a nice man to be with and I would miss a friend like him.

I had a very brief glimpse of the body which was wrapped in hospital cloth. Someone should have called the electric cremation and I can see their van arriving at the spot. Seeing this, his wife rushed out with her children. People just held her strong to prevent her falling on the body. The kids were quite young and the guy was studying his 12th standard and the girl just finished her under graduation. Now I can hear a loud cry though I could not see their faces as the entire crowd was around them. She was saying that he let her alone and how would she settle her son and how she would get her daughter married. God should have been kind enough to let him at least until he perform all those duties. Someone tried consoling her.

Amidst her massive cry, they lifted the body till the van. In no time few people climbed the van and it disappeared.

After returning home, I had time to think a little on that.

Why people took the death of the elderly lady very light?

Why the situation was so serious in the funeral of the middle aged person?

Is that because that the elderly lady was not of any use to them, the family were so cool?

Is that because they miss all the benefits they get from middle aged man, they cried so much?

Is this world so materialistic and selfish?

Oh God. Sometimes the lessons from life are so cruel.

Image courtesy: http://davidderrick.files.wordpress.com/2007/07/lord-byron-on-his-death-bed.jpg

Will it create controversy?

I don’t know how, but sometimes I develop an uncanny ability to rub the wrong side of both the parties who support and differ on a topic. I think I may do that now by writing this one.

I would request all of you to read this post with out any perception as I said in my previous post. (Whoever hasn’t read my previous post, can read here. Those who read the post also try reading it as I updated it a little bit) And yeah, I promise I will read your comments without any perception and ready to change my views if any one can give a convincing reply.

I am an agnostic, so I am not going to use words like God’s will or satanic etc. I just love, observe and hail nature for its massiveness, appearance and system. If you can keenly observe the nature, you can understand that it runs its show not by threatening or advising but by motivating people. I believe nature wants every one of us to learn about life. An inactive person can not learn anything and so it created hunger and ego. The nature wants the life flourishing and so it created attraction between genders, desire, fear of death (they want to leave some kind of their representation in this world after death), fear of life (there should be some one to take care of them in their old age) and sexual satisfaction. Their anatomy is created to complement this.

So here I would like to express my opinion that I dont have enough ground to believe that homo sexuality is natural.

But at the same time, I feel being not natural is not a crime to punish. They don’t harm anyone physically or mentally. So I fully agree with the verdict of the court.

The society don’t have to ill-treat them either because discrimination in any form is inhuman.

Since they don’t hurt anyone and since every human being in this world is free to make their choice in life, we don’t have to disturb them either.

I just dont want to do all the above under the cover that this act is natural.

If you read again the first couple of lines from this post, you would understand how true I say :-)

I dont know how my blog visitors and friends would react to this. But I decided to express my honest opinion on this or else I woudnt do justice to the topic of my blog.

I would like you all to read the second paragraph again before writing your comments. (I should try everything to make myself safe you know. I’m just kidding).

Yeah I am ready now.


Image courtesy:http://learningfolder.net/images/controversy.jpg

Perception – A hindrance I would say

During the little time left after my vain efforts to change most of the things that went opposite of my expectations, I used to think what is the objective of life. Seeing me start like this, please don’t run away thinking that I am going to write boring crap calling it as philosophy. Though I am going to do exactly the same; I have a beautiful small story in-between to cheer you up.

Some feel, finishing studies in first class, making yourself eligible for an wonderful IT job to teleport you straight to some company in silicon valley, marrying a beautiful girl of your interest couple of years later, getting kids and watching them grow is the best life and that should be the objective. Some others want to become a successful business man or politician with all the powers and money intact would be the best life and that should be one’s objective. But I have seen many people who achieved that and still not content. I was shocked to see one of the powerful, wealthy and famous persons attempting suicide. This incident happened to be my eye opener.

After four and half years of thinking and three years of reading many books on it, and almost a decade of observing various kind of people in this world, I understood that I don’t know the objective of life. May be I can say that learning would be my current objective. I indeed value this discovery much more as this is the one which installed open-mindedness in me. Once I got this open-mindedness, my learning curve went steep up and the feeling that I am growing gives me immense pleasure, though I haven’t reached my destination.

I feel the major obstacle for learning is perception. We all have our own opinion on various aspects of life. If we approach any thing with a perception, we stand less chance of knowing its true self. We can understand peception in a better way if we relate it to human relations than topics and subjects. If you have a good perception on some one, you will convince your self even if he/she do something wrong and this is quite opposite if you have bad peception on him/her. Now its time to unearth the beautiful small story.

Once a Buddhist monk visited a Zen monk at his residence. Being curious, the Buddhist monk asked the Zen monk to teach him on ‘way of Zen’.

The Zen monk smiled quietly and asked “why can’t we have some tea before we start”

“By all means” replied the Buddhist monk.

A humble disciple brought a long plate having couple of empty tea cups and a jar full of Tea.

The Zen monk took the responsibility of serving and poured tea in the cup, but he didn’t stop even after the cup was full.

The Buddhist monk got impatient and said “stop pouring!!”

Zen monk asked “why?”

“The cup is already full. What ever you pour more will only go waste”

“ Exactly” said the Zen monk. “Your mind is already full with Buddhism and what ever I say on Zen will only go waste”.

Similarly, my short lesson says that unless we shed away our perception, we can not see reality. If we don’t see reality, we may not grow.


Apart from boring you with my so called philosophy, I am sorry for not keeping this post short. Even I hate reading loooong posts.

Note 2:

I know this template sucks. But I messedup with my previous one. I have to hangarround with this one untill I find some time to work out a new one.

Image courtesy: http://sanjuancollege.edu/lib/images/philosophy_brain.jpg

My first award - 'Blog of the day'

When I was checking the updates of all the blogs that I follow, I was surprised to see 'A Naked Opinion' has got 'Blog of the day' award. Later on I also received an official message from Bill Austin to confirm the same.

Perhaps I should say this is my sixth award as I treat every person who decided to follow my blog has given me an award. (I can see five guests in my Follower's box. Can any one follow without me knowing it? Tech experts, please clarify). I take this opportunity to thank everyone who recognised this blog.

In my opinion, every person is liable to do some thing to make this world a better place. I created this blog as a tool to accomplish this. I believe, these sorts of awards would bring traffic and help me doing my duty to this society in a more effective way.

My experience with transgenders

After my college days, I was happily placed in one of the then top 5 IT companies through campus interview. Propelled by unbearable politics, I resigned my job within four months to find myself in a lengthy jobless period as it was September eleven attack time. Myself and my best friend decided to use this chance to travel to Mumbai and stay with my old school friend to hunt for a job.

I was very happy and looking forward for that moment as it was the longest train journey in my life and it was my first time to Mumbai. Before boarding the train, with the usual youth self, we promptly checked the reservation chart for any beautiful girl names around our age. I cant remember if we found any but we were enjoying every moment of it.

When a very informative co passenger informed me that we crossed Maharashtra border, it didn’t mean anything for me. Couple of minutes after the train left the first or second station in Maharashtra, I heard a little bit of unusual noise from the first part of the compartment. I looked at that direction only to find nearly 15 transgender people clapping hands and asking something in Hindi. I have to admit that I don’t know Hindi more than ‘ak gauv may ak kishan rahuthatha’. But I don’t have to know Hindi to comprehend what was happening there.

These transgender people were asking money from the passengers. When they refuse to give money or when they offer less money than their expectation, they embarrassed the passengers by touching their cheeks, partly undressing, sitting on their laps etc.

The first person refused to give money and enjoyed all these rituals. The second person gave ten rupees and got little bit of abuse. No one escaped their teasing and abuses except a person who handed over 50 rupees. What do you think I did? I took my wallet immediately to take fifty rupees and kept it ready in my front pocket. I really didnt’t want to give any money as I wasnt aware of my requirement in Mumbai. But I was more than definite not to let them anywhere near my intimate zone. They were just one row before me. I was waiting like a kid who would handover the paisa given by his mom to the temple elephant. Nothing note worthy happened. They got the money from my hands and moved on to my very informative co passenger who refused to give any money. I enjoyed all the rituals done to him. But you know, he escaped with out giving any money at all.

I saw similar incident through out Mumbai in my one month long tenure there. This is almost like a theft. Instead of threatening to take your life as other thieves do, they threaten to damage your self respect. I was very furious loosing my money in this way. I remember blaming even the government and police people for not taking any action for this. Even in Tirupur, where I live now, one transgender person entered my friend’s office in a complex and threatened to create chaos if he doesn’t give money.

Though these activities of transgender people seem to be uncultured and disgusting, I got other ideas when I thought deep in to this issue with empathy.

I have never seen anyone employ a transgender. Even their parents get rid of them once they come to know their identity. No one in the society, right from street youths to elderly people, recognise them as human being. I have never seen a movie depicting them with respect other than Manirathnam’s Bombay. Every one treats them as an animal to make fun off. When I was speaking to one my intellectual friends, he said ‘neglection is more serious than death sentence’. How will we feel when we are neglected by our own parents? They are facing neglection from the whole society. I think this sense of neglection and hunger put together made them as what they are now. At the time when court recognised the homo sexuals, I wish the society would recognise transgender people. When we can treat a blind as handicapped and help crossing a road, why can’t we recognise them? Aren’t they handicapped?

Image courtesy: http://www.shaarique.com/miss-koovagam/.


Following the footsteps of Shankar I decided to review few of the blogs that I admire a lot.

The sequence in which I mention it here doesn’t have anything to do with rank.

I don’t think many of them whom I mentioned here would read this. But hope this would be of good information to other readers.

  1. A wide angle view of India by Nita:

This is one of the best political blogs I have read in recent times. I admire this blog for the way she add details to justify her opinion. Well presented, well organised and most unbiased blog.

  1. Everything official about this by GB:

The fact that I don’t even want to miss comments in her blog could be a best expressed review for this blog. Beautiful language, natural humour, forward thinking and interesting narration are the high points of this blog. (for some reason she made it as a private blog recently. I don't know how to ask for an invitation to view her blog. Anyone please advise)

  1. Ballat by Shankar:

The best aspect of this blog is its versatility. He speaks about philosophy, movie reviews, personal tours, love, technology and everything under the sky. He will keep you busy by tagging you here and there making you to contribute some way or other.

  1. Bitch on by Nicky:

If you are a Conservative male, you would be shocked reading her blog. She never hesitates to touch any topic right from PMS (if you don’t know what PMS mean, read her blog) to beautifully justifying her laziness in washing her inners. I like her open mindedness and child like braveness (It’s indeed a compliment).

  1. Reflections of an empathic libertarian by Vipul

He steals topic from my mind and often presents it in a more creative and better manner than I could think. He is again unbiased, witty (sometimes) and touches high quality topics. The high point about his blog is his narration style which would keep you away from boredom. He bestowed a wonderful title ‘empathic libertarian’ on me stating that I think like him. Considering the high quality of his blog, I treat this as a very good complement.

I read a few posts of her and utterly impressed by the presence of inner self which happens to be my most favourite topic. I cant exactly put it down in words but I think this is not the usual kind of blog.



My blog friend Suga tagged me and I am answering it here.
  1. A – Available/Single? Noi
  2. B – Best friend? My self
  3. C – Cake or Pie? depends on my mood
  4. D – Drink of choice? There is no fixed item in my list. I keep changing it.
  5. E – Essential item you use every day? This damn cell phone.
  6. F – Favorite colour? Black, red, blue in that order
  7. G – Gummy Bears Or Worms? I hate em
  8. H – Hometown? Tiruppur
  9. I – Indulgence? At the moment blogging.
  10. J – January or February? December.
  11. K – Kids & their names? small kid. Nakshathira.
  12. L – Life is incomplete without? wisdom
  13. M – Marriage date? some where arround march. I forgot (My wife woudnt read this)
  14. N – Number of siblings? None.
  15. O – Oranges or Apples? Oranges. but why do u want to know this?
  16. P – Phobias/Fears? claustrophobia
  17. Q – Quote for today?A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything.
  18. R – Reason to smile? Some people think I am writing a good blog (actually its an illution. see now u r smiling)
  19. S – Season? Winter ( I love the temp in minus)
  20. T – Tag 3 People? I dont want to tag in specific. sometimes people are uncomfortable with this. I want to tag every one who wants to answer this. In specific, I can tag Rajalakhsmi who is a new guest to this blog.
  21. U – Unknown fact about me? I do cry. but very rarely. Men do cry but they hide it.
  22. V – Vegetable you don't like? Bitter guord
  23. W – Worst habit? Reading books in toilet
  24. X – X-rays you've had? few more times
  25. Y – Your favorite food? Traditional south indian food, In western food I like hot dog rolls, hashbrown, chicken royale, well made pizza etc.
  26. Z – Zodiac sign? Sagitarious

My friend Shankar tagged me again for the fantastic fours :-)


Four places I have lived (not in any particular order):





Four T.V shows that I love(d) to watch (not in any particular order):

Generally I dont like TV shows. I watch TV only to see cricket, news and few interesting programmes in Animal planet, discovery etc. Early I used to watch movies in TV but the increasing number of advertisements made me to switch to my computer.

Four places that I have been on vacation:

This was on business trip but I can count it as vacation as I was doing that on week ends.





Four of my favourite food items:

Egg Fried Rice

Mutton Biriyani

Cheese and chips

Hot dog roll

The last two items I learned eating when I was staying in UK. For the first two years I loathed them but some how I leaned to eat them and now it became two of my favourites.

Four websites that I visit daily:




and Blogs(including mine..)

Four places I would rather be (not in any particular order of preference):


South Africa

New York


Four things I hope to do before I die..... (not in any particular order):

Not four things. I can say one thing which might be equal for hundred things. I want to be content. Is it possible?

Four novels I wish I was reading for the first time:

Book of Mirdad by Michael Naimy

Autobiography of Lee Iacocca

Kane and Abel

Ponniyin selvan by Kalki (One novel in Tamil I guess is up to international standard.)

Four movies that I can watch over and over again:

I cant watch any move for second time however good it is. But if you ask for the list of best movies,...well its a long list (You can check my profile page). I will try to shorten it.

1. Matrix 1st part

2. Anbe sivam

3. Galdiater

4. Life is beautiful

Four people I believe will respond to this tag:

I have only four people following my blog. Shankar is the one who tagged me. Kannan doesn't have a blog. Vipul is already over loaded with tags. I can tag Nicky. she is positive to get tagged. And I tag all who wish to be tagged.

Note to Shankar:
1. Sorry for violating the 'four' rules number of times. Hope you would forgive me for dryness in ideas.
2. Thanks, now I learned how to tag.


My friend Shankar wants me to answer these questions. Its very relaxing. Thanks pal.

When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?


Q: How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
A: Rs. 110

Q: What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
A: tour

Q: What is your favourite ring tone on your phone?
A: Just a beep with vibration

Q: Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
A: My friend

Q: What are you wearing right now?
A: Shirt pant. (
dont have to say details on inners right :-))

Q: Do you label yourself?
dont understand

Q: Name the brand of the shoes you currently own?
A: Reebok, Nike, Next, Metro

Q: Bright or Dark Room?
A: It depends on my mood

Q: What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
A: A nice but sensitive person

Q: What does your watch look like?
A: I dont wear watches

Q: What were you doing at midnight last night?
A: Sleeping

Q: What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
A: Some advise on life

Q: What’s a word that you say a lot?
A: Cant write here

Q: Who told you he/she loved you last? (Please exclude spouse , family, children)
A: :-)

Q: Last furry thing you touched?
A: Cant remember

Q: Favourite age you have been so far?
A: 24-28

Q: What was the last thing you said to someone?
A: Collected daily report from my colleague

Q: The last song you listened to?
A: Vizhi moodi from Ayan and I like it.

Q: Where did you live in 1987?
A: Tiruppur but in a different house.

Q: Are you jealous of anyone?
A: No. Not at all.

Q: Is anyone jealous of you?
A: Dont think so. I havnt achieved that much in life.

Q: Name three things that you have on you at all times?
A: My mobile… My wallet… My keys..

Q: What’s your favourite town/city?
A: Edinburgh UK

Q: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
A: I cant remember.

Q: Can you change the oil on a car?
A: nops

Q: Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
A: A friendly smile

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?extinction-1920x1200
A: yeah my head

Q: What is your current desktop picture?
A: Zoo zoo

Q: Have you been burnt by love?
A: Why is it burnt.

Nostalgia - A trick played by our mind.

There is a famous dialogue in the movie Mudhalvan (Its Nayak in Hindi. I don’t know if Hindi version has the same dialogue).

"How nice it would be if we got ‘forward’ and ‘rewind’ button in life also as like we have in a tape recorder ?"

I used to like that dialogue a lot and never failed to mention this to my pals when ever I get a chance. But later on, when I think deeper and in an unbiased way, I tend to realize that nostalgia is a trick played by our mind.

My school days were not all rainbows and sunshines. I still remember my disastrous days there along with all the happy time with my friends. I love the first time I went out to cinema bunking the class in my 9th standard. Though I can clearly identify it as harmonic infatuation, I loved the moment I saw a girl of my taste. I loved all the time that I spend with my friend discussing nothing but girls. I enjoy every bit of immature behaviour that I exhibited then. I enjoyed the thrill of exchanging papers during exam. I loved the sense of achievement that we got after firing crackers in front of our warden's room irritating him to the core. If only for these things, I would definitely want to go to my school days. But I also remember the amount of trauma I go through when ever I need to get my progress report signed by my parents when I got poor marks. The fear I develop for my teacher’s stick. The butterfly in my stomach when I was identified as one of the main culprits behind the strike that we did in school. Though these reasons sound to be silly now, the fear it created in my mind was no less than the biggest I face now. So I think life is absolutely same through out its tenure with happiness and disaster well mixed. But when we think about our past, we generally remember only the good moments, comfortably forgeting the nasty times that we had. This is the reason why we want to go to our past.

Unless we understand this, we would spend our life hating the present. I am sure the present is going to be a wonderful nostalgic moment in future. May I suggest everyone to understand this truth and love our present.

Image courtesy: http://www.marx-brothers.org/

Blog Widget by LinkWithin