My pursuit of happiness


It is long time since I updated my blog. I decided to spare sometime today after Shilpa Sharma has reminded me in FB.

This post is going to be highly philosophical and I believe it would be boring to those who hasn’t been struck in the loop of life. (Eventually you can’t avoid it any way). But those who have already struck in the grim and cruel tooth of life,…. well I don’t know what you all will feel about this post. But am sure you would find something here.

Am eagerly waiting for your comments. I don’t know why my comments count has gone down. May be because that I became more irregular now a days and don’t comment in anyoneelse’s blog. However I would like you all to leave your opinion here despite my irregularity as I would like to know your point of view.

The old truth in life is that, ‘All that we chase in life is just happiness’. Not money, not fame, not power. We just believe that we get eternal happiness out of all the modes that we chase throughout life. But the irony is that the fact is otherwise.

When I was a kid, I thought I would achieve this eternal happiness once I enter the college, later it got extended to a glance by a beautiful girl, then a perfect job, then a business and now money. And I am most certain that it will go to ‘more money’, power etc in future. For me it seems like I am chasing my own shadow.

During my school days, the game I play when I am alone was to chase my own shadow. When I stand facing my back to the sun, I think I can catch my shadow by just moving two steps up. But whenever I move two steps, it goes further above. I could never catch my shadow throughout my schools days.

I think I am playing the same game now but with a different format. Instead of shadow, am searching happiness. Whenever I feel I would be happy after achieving this, all of a sudden, it shows another thing to chase. How sad.

I believe, in our life, we always long for something for most part of the life and then look for another if in case we achieve that very thing that we were waiting for a long time. I am not at all satisfied with this. I want to be in a state of eternal bliss? I am not ashamed of saying so, as it is my right to be happy.

Some say, I need to pray to God to be in the state of bliss. But my limited experiences so far guarantee that God is too disabled to help me with any materialistic aspects in life. I also somehow understood that materials that come from outside cannot give me the eternal bliss that I am longing for as most of external happenings are out of our control.

I believe freedom is one of the aspects that will help you achieve the wisdom that can guide you in pursuit of happiness. The little freedom that I could squeeze in spite of the societal and familial knots, helped me to place myself in this current mindset. I don’t know if I have to go further? Am I too afraid of losing all the benefits that I derive from this societal setup? May be yes. But will this help me finding my eternal happiness? Does it worth taking that daring step? 

I need to tune my mind accordingly that I am in that perfect state of mind even under the most unfortunate situations. How is this possible? I don’t know. This is the only question I have now in my mind. Can anyone help?

35 comments:

The Boatman said...
February 1, 2010 at 2:39 PM

Freedom my friend is a state of mind. One can be free in spite of all the societal / family knots. Haven't you heard of unattached attachment - the essence of Bhagwad Gita ? That state of mind cannot be squeezed out of anything. One has to first face the naked truths about life, existence, misery, joy, pain and death. Then rationally deliberate about the whole game. As an absolutely clear awareness dawns over you, you will be liberated and free. It's quite simple if you have the humility and guts to strip yourself and life to the core.

Bharathi said...
February 1, 2010 at 4:50 PM

@ Boatman: I too read about it. I am speaking about the preparations to practice it :-)

Chetan said...
February 1, 2010 at 6:08 PM

don't search for happiness, but be happy
think always good, try to find out the optimism in the worst conditions

for eg: i always felt that, whenever i have been to new place, people started laughing on me,
i tried not to concentrate on them, but then, no results

then after sumtym i started thinking, that how good it is that people are laughing because of me, and once i started thinking this, i always laugh whenever i think those noble man laugh on me..( i am going to write a post on this topic)

i am not a philosophical man, but i try to be happy always

if you have not read the book : The Secret by Rhoda Byrne, please read it that will change your thinking towards life ( i am sure, but again plz read it with mindset that evrythng there is true, and read it without your pre conceived notions), i 'll say that, if you have read it, plz read it once again, i myself have read that book 8 times

one thing, I have always found your post very interesting and philosophical

shilpa said...
February 1, 2010 at 6:47 PM

I don't know what to say as I haven't been stuck in this so-called cruel tooth of life.
But I feel may be happiness is not something that can be found, it is something that has to be created;from within you only. When you feel you are happy,you will be happy.
Or may be its like a butterfly, if you run after it,it flies away but if you sit at one place,it itself comes and sits at your shoulder.
Or may be happiness is seeing your loved ones in a happy state,like seeing your daughter growing up in front of your eyes or your wife always being behind you as your support. That's happiness(?) I guess.



.
.
.
shilpa (from my wandering thoughts) :)

The unsure ascetic said...
February 1, 2010 at 7:01 PM

I too agree withe the previous comments. Practising dis-attachemnt with the help of spirituality must strip your constant pursuit in life and also in return improve your efficency.

Bharathi said...
February 1, 2010 at 7:08 PM

@ Chetan: It seems that you have a nice insight into life. Thanks for your suggestions. i value it.

And I am not philosophical too. i just write what ever I think on life. but people camm me that I write philosophical (as you just said :-)).
I will try reading that book. Thanks for suggesting.

And a final thanks for your nice comment.

@ Shilpa:

I think you will agree that you get both happiness and sadness mixed at this stage of life. Try and observe if this is changing with your future stages.

My question is, how can you be happy through out.

Bharathi said...
February 1, 2010 at 7:09 PM

@ The unsure ascetic: Thanks a lot for commenting. May I know if you have practiced it in life. was it successful?

Siddhesh 'Ravan' Kabe said...
February 1, 2010 at 8:33 PM

Hmmm thats a very thought provoking post..

I never tot of anything like this ever, I had only one thing in mind...do ulta of watever anyone tells u...which i did...:|

'In todays cynical world, the only morality left is...chance' -Two-face, The dark night. ;)

This is wat i feel, my personal opinion is (and i follow it to the core) I do things my mind tells me to do, if i am stuck, toss a coin. No thinking at all.

At the end of the day, i got no regret, i got no remorse...i stay happy.

Kamal said...
February 1, 2010 at 9:20 PM

I do not kno whether I am experienced enuf to suggest you. From my experience am writing tis.
I hav asked many of ma fellow people abt the secret of the happines but i couldn get any.

Bfor answering ur questions I would like to ask u something...

U really think that the world's richest person s happy wit his money alone?
If ur answer s no, den y r u trying to make a huge money as urs?

U really think that all who gets wat they loved r happy now?
If ur answer s no, den y r u worrying for lost love (I meant whichever source of love u lost)?

U really think tat things r unfortunate for u alone?
If ur answer s no, den y u r not keeping ur mind be prepared to face unfortunate happenings.

If u feel like writing a post, den u r enjoying tat perfect moment of happiness...
If u can feel the distilled love frm ur mom, wife, kid, den u r enjoying tat perfect moment n bliss s urs...
............. etc, etc...

At last, I can say tat external induction keeps u happy only temporarily, wen u start feeling happiness in evry sorrow u get, u might attain the state of bliss...
Ironical n it may feel weird but its true...

BK Chowla, said...
February 2, 2010 at 11:30 AM

It is a very complex question.It is normally said that happiness is a state of mind.I don't think so.Happiness is a very slippery product made from some unknown raw material.Happiness is in doing and achieving something in totality--which is fame, money contentment,success,husband children and a lot of money.
And happiness can not be found--Arjun get the answer only from Krishna for some of his questions.
Look inside you,you will get the answer.

Bharathi said...
February 2, 2010 at 1:10 PM

@ Sid: good, as long as you can have eternal happiness.

@ Kamal: I dont think world's richest person is happy. because he will be carving for power. I understood that human mind is like a bottom less vessel. how much ever you put inside, it will not be enough.

And yes, I am in business to earn money. and of course more money. No doubt and I dont hide it. That is because, I only 'understood' the above said fact, not 'realized'. secondly, if you have to leave something that you are sticking on to for quite some time, you need a better branch to hold on. until i can sense a better branch, I gotta hold on.

I didnt mention anything about lost love.

No I never think that I am the most unfortunate. I dont bring pathos. its disgusting. everyone have their goosebumps. i know that very clearly.

The most of the things you mentioned here doesnt relate to eternal happiness that I was trying to say, instead these are momentary happiness which I know about for ages. Eternal happiness is something different. its not about bearing, its about accepting. I cant say anything more on that as I havnt experienced it. or else it would be like a blind man explaining another blind man on sunshine.

BK Chawla:
One small change. I dont really speak on happiness. I like to know more on eternal happiness. may be your last sentence carry a lot of meaning. I am trying to do that now.

Murli said...
February 2, 2010 at 6:00 PM

This thought pops in to every ones mind at some point of time or other. Nice that it popped in your mind also. I appreciate that you wrote a nice blog post on it. It’s also interesting to read every ones view regd happiness. Even though every one have different ideas and concepts about happiness, one thing is common about all. Every one wants to stay happy :)

Well, I also set out in pursuit of my happiness some years back. I am still drifting on to find an anchor point. But I am sure I am drifting on the right direction. At this stage what I have learned so far is that...

Happiness doesn’t exist (!) so don’t chase it. Sadness doesn’t exist either (!!) so don’t try to abstain from it... (If this sounds meaningless just ponder about it.)
What is the state of your mind when you make it understand this???

Kamal said...
February 2, 2010 at 9:08 PM

Eternal happiness tat u r expecting s jus lik a tongue expecting to get only diff kinds of sweet n which s not at al possible; evn if it gets, it ll b deceased. Evn bitter gourd ll taste heavenly wen u used to get it practised by ur tongue. I have realized it.

So, I can give u only tis. Enjoying al the perfects moments which can either be sadness or happiness ll be the only way to lead u to the door step of eternal happiness.

Kamal said...
February 2, 2010 at 9:17 PM

@ Murli: Hope, I hav substantiated ur comments. But wit a diff notion. I really value ur approach towards happiness.

Sat_hi_sh said...
February 2, 2010 at 10:11 PM

wonderful post Bharathi :)
You really made me ponder for a while...

Coming back to your question ,i find solace through movies & a good sleep when am in this kinda situation...

keep blogging
cheers !!!

Bharathi said...
February 3, 2010 at 9:53 AM

@ Murli: Seems like you have an idea on life. Thats good. In my opinion happiness does exist. sadness does exist. but we dont know how to make our mindset right to make it all happy moments.

Every thing that we consume in life right from objects to love, has a duel nature. in clear words, every thing has happiness and misery mixed together. we are trying to extract only happiness out of it and shrink to it when we face the other mandatory side. that is because we are not ready to loose that 'thing'. that thing may be business, money, your reputation in the society, love and relationships. we are absolutely not ready to live without those and also we are not ready to take the other side of it. There comes the problem. The answer I am looking now is how to do that. Many comments here are concerned with momentary and external happiness which I am least interested in. By default you will consume it any way.

@ Kamal: closing down a thread with an opinion like 'eternal happiness doesnt exist' will discourage growth. i would suggest you to keep your options open or else you may not enjoy it if it does exist. I have seen few (very few) who claim to be achieved eternal happiness. from all that I have heard from them, I believe that they dont fake.
Enjoying the happy moments that come on the way, and shrinking to the miseries on the same way is what we all do now. some take the misery little light because of their attitude. The extent of pain may wary but the pain is evidently present.

And also you can read my reply to Murali.

@ Sathish: Thanks pal. Good to know that you become happy when you see movies and have a nice sleep. But you cant do it all the day. You need to face the other side at any point of time. nice to know that you ponder over this question.

TO ALL: after reading all the comments i understood that the gist of my post is not communicated properly. so I do it now.

we come across happiness and sadness together in life. we enjoy happiness and shrink to miseries. My questions are,

1. how do you think you can change the miseries into happiness?

2. Have you experienced eternal happiness?

3. I am not interested in details of momentary happiness as I do it by default.

4. care should be taken before answering these questions. if you havent experienced eternal happiness, you can not suggest. you can only give your opinion. or else, as I said early it would only look like one blind explaining another blind about the beauty of sunrise.

NOW SHOOT.

Murli said...
February 3, 2010 at 11:28 AM

Bharathi... I understand your questions better now. The answer to your questions is a very simple answer and a very easy approach. The approach is very simple that you may already know it. But that you have to just realize it. And since its subtle you need to put your own effort in realizing it.

Before I suggest you something, I request you to remove the preconceptions you already have in your mind. You might have already heard about these, analyzed and concluded an opinion on it. But for now shred off those opinions and approach with an open mind.

Let me just point you to couple of articles for you to go through.
http://www.parami.org/buddhistanswers/buddhists_happy.htm
http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/articles/mindfulness-meditation-as-a-buddhist-practice/

Concepts and Ideas of Buddhism are getting more and more widely recognized and accepted though out the world. Buddhisim is not about shaving heads or wearing robes. One need not look like a monk to use Buddhist teachings :)

Buddhist teachings are very practical. Infact one of first teaching from Buddha is not to follow his teaching unless one has tried it himself and agrees on it.

If it sounds interesting to you and want to know more about it, you may also like to see this video session:
http://www.youtube.com/user/DharmaFountain#p/c/07BAFA1D0023A388/0/fkDWWwdNKeM
(Its long session split in to multiple parts, take your time to go through it.)

Lakshmi Rajan said...
February 3, 2010 at 7:04 PM

My answer/thoughts will come as a post in my site :) hopefully in couple of days

Bharathi said...
February 3, 2010 at 7:45 PM

@ Murli: thanks for your suggestion. will check those links.

@ LR: Okies. will eagerly wait for that. Hope it would be in your trademark analystic style :)

Shruti said...
February 3, 2010 at 10:47 PM

Bharathi, awesome and a very thought provoking indeed!
Let me answer the questions u have asked in the comments section. All these replies is purely based on my own experience and the things which i have experienced in my life so far..

(i) How do you think you can change the miseries into happiness?
When u think something as misery? Only when u expect happiness and when the expectation leads to disappointment right? I can easily tell u that don't expect anything in life. But as a normal human being, its certainly not possible. But instead, we must learn to take the happiness and misery in the same way. Everything depends on attitude.

(ii) 2. Have you experienced eternal happiness?
What u mean by eternal happiness?? The external pleasure derived out of something? But that is temporary! Eternal happiness is indirectly proportional to the real happiness of the soul. I mean, If the eternal happiness is what u experience, then somehow u have forged urself into the situation. As the anecdote goes, TRUTH IS ALWAYS BITTER

The real happiness lies in your attitude. Do what ur mind tells u.. Cos human mind generally analyses each situation well than anybody's advice.

16 months back people came for recruitment in my college. I lost the very first round in that company and cried like anything.This is actually misery for me. But my dad consoled me saying - Think that these guys are unlucky. Who knows may be a better job is waiting for u.
When the second company came I cleared all the 6 rounds and finally got selected. I jumped in joy, forgot everything.. (eternal happiness). again my dad told me, see shruti already a company rejected u. Cos u dint suit their requirements. Never be too happy or too sad for anything. Life is a complete cycle. What is yours now will be someone's tommorow. So just live the day. You will really feel the peace and u can sleep well.

I dunno whether this is relevant to your post. But I jotted down everything that came to my mind. If u understand anything, its good. If not, consider the entire comment as a rant. Oops, a pretty long comment again!

goodmangood said...
February 4, 2010 at 8:46 AM

Happy New Year~~!!!............................................................

Bharathi said...
February 5, 2010 at 9:50 AM

@ Shruti: I think you got the wrong meaning for eternal happiness. its not about bearing the pains of life. its about accepting it and enjoying it as if you are in bliss. thanks a lot for your efforts.

@ goodmangood: hmm thanks anyway. and wish u the same.

Kamal said...
February 5, 2010 at 10:47 PM

S. I am alwas trying to keep my mind broader. Meanwhile I wud like to mention the comments of ma dad coz he s the more pragmatic person i evr seen.

Below s the explanation given by him.
"The person who s attached towards his environment alwas feels miseries n happiness together. One cannot pick the one wanted between those options. N one cannot avoid the situation of sadness as it comes automatically frm external environment. And once wen it occurred, u ll kno its a sad moment only aftr it occured since life s an extempore; its still the sadness evn wen u try to convert it to a happiness. So, one cannot convert the sad moment into a happy moment."

Keeping behind al ma father's comments, I wud like to kno the people who claimed to tat they attained the eternal happiness as u mentioned as a reply to ma comment.

Or. If u ever get to met the people who attained such eternal happiness give me the ways to do it.

Thanks for the post once again.
As it really make people to garner the ways one can attain it, if possible.

Himanshu said...
February 7, 2010 at 12:23 AM

anyone can write an essay on the question you raise
i just ending with a Luck. When you got satisfaction and happiness mail me too

Abdul said...
February 7, 2010 at 2:36 PM

dude.. life has no purpose.. and certainly life is not about bein happy or attaining bliss.. life is jus about experience.. experiencing as much as we can.. joy, pain, melancholy, pleasure, elation, dejection... honestly.. dont u enjoy the moment wen u hav jus lost in a game? wen u feel sorry for urself? wen u see all ur hardwork being wasted into nothin? dont u enjoy it? boy thats probably most heroic moment of ones life.. life's jus about living dude... not abt bein happy.. happiness and bliss are some bullshit ideas which some moron accidentally infused into the society while he was stoned... jus enjoy everythin life throws at u.. havin a good time is not necessarily havin a happy time..

and yes.. man was programmed in a way to chase somethin that cant be attained.. and if attained the program changes the target again.. moral of story: keep chasing..

Bharathi said...
February 7, 2010 at 7:34 PM

@ Kamal:

Let me explain to you.

1. By default everyone without exception are behind happiness. Only the mode they think that would bring happiness may differ. And also it is true that they feel insufficient even when they get success in the modes.

2. What ever you consume in this world are of dualistic nature. that means, what ever you take from this world has happiness and sadness attached together. One cannot consume just one. this is the beauty of nature that you can understand if you keenly observe all the happenings to you and around.

3. Keeping the first point in mind, what is that the mind is after? And how to achieve it. this is what my question if I put it in different words.

Regarding the names of the persons who explained the eternal happiness, I want to keep it hidden for the moment. I want you to find it yourself. I am sure you will find it when you start understanding the naked truths. my intention of keeping it under cover is just to give you a full feeling when you get to know them as I did.

@ Himansu: sure I will.

@ Abdul: I some how can agree to your point. But my question is how to do it.

Abdul said...
February 8, 2010 at 11:27 PM

dude.. forget this borin, pointless, never-going-anywhere discussion and have a bar of fav chocolate.. now thats life.. :)

Kamal said...
February 8, 2010 at 11:52 PM

Lemme try to find out those persons n also the treasure.

Bharathi said...
February 10, 2010 at 11:45 AM

@ Abdul: :-)

@ Kamal: all the best

Vinod R Iyer said...
March 1, 2010 at 1:11 PM

"Pata nahi .. Pata chalte hi aapko hi pehele bataunga" :)

Bharathi said...
March 1, 2010 at 1:19 PM

@ Vinod: muje Hindi nahi malum bai shab. Please wirte in english :-)

lexi said...
March 25, 2010 at 11:10 AM

hey I am reading your post first time and I really felt very interesting. Wot you wrote is xactly true, the reality which happens in all's life. Even we all want happiness but to be happy we need several things to survive in this world. And life is all about chasing the one or the other things life long. This process will go on till end. Sometimes in between we gets tired and sick and incapable of handling the situations. The finally I felt... after all this is life we have to take things as it comes :) Good post... keep writing, I would love to read :)

Bharathi said...
April 10, 2010 at 10:19 AM

@ Lexi: thanks for your nice comment. keep visiting.

Chandramouli said...
June 10, 2010 at 7:14 AM

Did you watch the must-see movie 'The Pursuit of Happyness"? If not, please do not miss it.

Bharathi said...
June 14, 2010 at 1:36 PM

@ Chandramouli: No I didnt. probably I will try to see it as the topic is tempting :)

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