Once upon a time, (oh no, I am not that old), a little while ago, when I was a kid, I think at the age of around 10, one fine day, I was very bubbly wearing red shirt and blue pant marched head held high towards my school bus stop. 

I was waiting for that day for quite some time. The count down started about two months back. I made all arrangements right before 15 days (wow I was professional even then). A day before I finished all my home works, arranged my books properly in my school bag and kept it well prepared. On that morning, I sensed a little discomfort in my stomach like a pain. It bothered me too much as I want it to be a perfect day. As per my dad’s advice I drank little bit of water and did some strange exercises. And actually it did worked fine and I felt alright.

Enough of all the build-ups, it was my birthday. When I was reaching bus stop 10 minutes before the first trip, I just remembered that I forgot my brand new pencil box. I rushed back home and took it, but alas, when I came back, the bus was just leaving. I waved the conductor to stop the bus but he just ignored my request and asked me to catch the second trip which will take me to school minutes before the prayer bell.

Tears came out of my eyes. I cried hard I guess. I never thought why I cried then. But now I know the reason. I want to be in school early to meet my friends who already present there.

I know I would be the cynosure as it was my D day. The teachers, friends, staffs, parents and neighbours would wish me and treat me special. Everyone would identify that I am a birthday boy and will try to be nice with me. I would feel like a celebrity. I didn’t want to miss even a bit of that undue attention. This gives pride to me. It feeds my EGO and so I become Very happy.

But now I am all grownup. I don’t celebrate birthdays at all. My then behaviour looks childish now. But do you think we are out of feeding our EGOS? I don’t think so. Why do you think Tatas and Ambanis are behind money even now after accumulating tons more than their basic luxurious survival. Why do you think they are carving for more power when they can manage their life better even without that?

I believe we haven’t yet come out of feeding our egos. It only took a different shape with age.


The Generalist said...
December 14, 2010 at 2:15 PM

i always avoided going to school on birthdays,, it felt awkward to me..

S.R.Ayyangar said...
December 14, 2010 at 7:05 PM

I don't think Birthday celebration has any thing to do with EGO as long as it is confined to family and on a small scale.

Bharathi said...
December 14, 2010 at 8:35 PM

@ Generalist: so you are a matured person from long before :)

@ Ayyangar: Hmmm

Arpana said...
December 17, 2010 at 9:24 PM

Ego is something different it is false identification of self.As a kid at that time you were only wanted to take showered love- a normal thing for ten year old.

Bharathi said...
December 18, 2010 at 11:25 AM

@ Arpana: thanks for your opinion. I feel we comfortably forgive what ever we do as a kid.

Sat_hi_sh said...
December 23, 2010 at 12:04 AM

Ur post makes me nostalgic...

i miss those days where i was waiting to grow up but now its the vice-versa :)

well written
hope to see you blogging regularly !!

Bharathi said...
December 23, 2010 at 10:31 AM

@ Sathish: thanks buddy. will try my best to blog regularly.

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